Finally.

The girl from outside

After 25 years of being born and raised outside I decided it was time to visit home for the first time. The things I was met with, the conversations, the judgement and the curiosity sometimes felt overwhelming. The way I moved, my appearance and even the way I spoke changed. It was if my voice, my inner voice got louder and instead of ignoring it I let it speak. I had no other choice but to trust myself fully even when it led to mistakes and some embarrassment. Meeting new people, meeting old people that knew the soul who birthed me and to live in the house she was born and raised felt like home coming. Home taught me about the past, the history of my loved ones and more importantly how all of that fits in my own identity. This experience I believe did not change me, it helped me to discover parts of me that I neglected for 25 years.

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I went minimal

.. and I think I am staying minimal. When I left for Mama Africa.. I went on the biggest detox ever and threw out about 75 per cent of my possessions and it felt right.

Yes, I did leave for Mama Africa and I knew that I was going to come back but I still decided to throw it all out and just start over. I was taking one suitcase, another suitcase was staying with the clothes I actually love and want to wear. Cause let me tell you something I own clothes that I have no use for or are just unflattering  so keeping them made no sense. Yes I donated the clothes and took my one suitcase and left.

When I got to Djibouti I had a suitcase filled with the basics. With me I brought undergarments, a bathing suit, one abaya (which is a full length outer garment) , toiletries, shorts, 4 shirts, 2 leggings, a towel and a couple of hijabs. The idea was to be as simple as possible and to buy my everyday clothes in Djibouti. I bought  baatis  (long dresses with beautiful prints)  and shalmats (large scarfs). At first I struggled wearing the shalmats properly and I was always a little bit jealous of the women who just wore them without any effort. During my entire trip I did not had the need to buy souvenirs, instead I went on the biggest adventure of my life.

Will I keep living this minimal lifestyle now that I am back? I like to say yes, I hope so. During those four months living out of  one half empty suitcase,  taught me that I don’t need a lot of stuff.  I will however always need more of good people,  positive vibes, laughter and sincerity. I will never be minimal about that part of my life.