They are my eyes

Perhaps it invited itself in when my soul got too tired to stand up. Now I am trying to regain my balance by living less in my head and spending more time with the living. I am trying but sometimes my humanity takes over,  I become so consumed by it that I am unable to open up my own eyes.  But my loved ones,  they see me even on the days when I am unable to look at my present or dream about a future.

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For the Tribe.

Communicate. We are not married so I cannot be around you and talk to you every single day. Yes, I will disappear, zone out and even put my phone on airplane mode because sometimes I need to be alone with my own baggage. But when I pick my phone back up and you tell me about your bad news… my heart will not only ache for you but I will drop my baggage and find a good connection where I am not projecting my mindset on to you. I will focus on you, listen to how you are feeling and ask the questions that you need a friend to ask you. I will then offer you the advice that may help you even when I sound like the biggest hyprocrite on earth. I’ll ask God to listen your prayers and I pray that you will find solace in Him too. When you let me know about your good news my heart will grow so big that my own rib cage will have a hard time containing it. I will be your biggest hype man and pray that your blessings will keep on coming for forever and ever.

I have a responsibility to my tribe. This is my commitment.

Time is not always on your side.

There is a lot of guilt that we all carry in our day to day lives. We want to be there for our loved ones, work on ourselves and contribute to the world. Sometimes something has to suffer, you have your priorities. I think we should focus on the quality of time that we are spending and giving, not on the quantity. When you are with your parents is your mind fully present or are you thinking of your other responsibilities? Do you make them smile, do you have deep conversation, do you give your undivided attention and support? There will always be a sense of guilt when we cannot give more time to a loved one, a cause or anything that is close to us. I believe that guilt is there because the love is there. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Reflect, evaluate, communicate and move on.

 

Keep trying.
Peace.