Fine doesn’t mean fine.

EVERYTHING IS OKAY
while my  anxiety rules every single healthy thought I used to have

LIFE IS GREAT
yes, I am firming this smile
if I stop smiling, the tears will start
last time I cried so hard my heart skipped a beat

DON’T WORRY
I keep forgetting the happy memories
is like the pain has swallowed the little bit of happiness I had left

I AM FINE 
I am still breathing even though my soul plays with death every night

They are my eyes

Perhaps it invited itself in when my soul got too tired to stand up. Now I am trying to regain my balance by living less in my head and spending more time with the living. I am trying but sometimes my humanity takes over,  I become so consumed by it that I am unable to open up my own eyes.  But my loved ones,  they see me even on the days when I am unable to look at my present or dream of a future.