When it comes to life whatever the situation we are dealing with in our heads or out there in the world, at the end of a long day I want to breathe a little easier. For me to be able to breathe and actually feel my entire body means I am aware and I am accepting myself. Call it reflection, meditation, prayer I want to be able to breathe always a little big easier. When stress comes back for a commitment and takes away my ability to breathe it changes everything. It’s not even about that I want to be free of anything that gives me stress because to be free of that means I want to be free of my life and my life is blessed. It’s about learning to commit to myself before believing whatever outside is telling me to believe about myself. Call it happiness. Call It peace. But if I can breathe easier no matter what the day has brought me, I am living. So I hope you are breathing a little easier as well.
I did not find a forever home in my past
the trauma however sometimes comes back
for an acknowledgement, eye contact
but I refuse to sit with it, to make small talk
I am done writing about it,
giving it my undivided attention, to bathe in it
sometimes I look at the moment
when I coughed up small parts of my soul and I think to myself
even in that moment I did not give up because of Allah
”Almost a decade later and I am still working
to find the balance that only works for me, myself and I first.”
there is a war going on in my mouth
after years of biting my tongue I bit it off
my mouth is full of my own blood
my tongue is bleeding and I keep swallowing
swallowing their demands and my lost voice
there is a war going on in my mouth
outside they only see my thick lips
in the shape of a closed smile
They told you that the ones
who smile with their mouths closed
have something to hide right?
Look at your life and think about if you are truly taking care of your own heart, thoughts, needs and wants. Do you have a hard time catching your own breath because you are running towards or away from something? Stop, put all the temporary stuff, the demands from the other and their threat of disappointment in the air and let the wind blow it all away. Keep yourself and breathe. Find that time, that space, that place where you are giving love to yourself without thinking of anything else in that moment but just me, myself and I. Yes, you have to hustle in this world hustle but be careful that this world is not taking too much away from you and not giving enough back.
Self love does not come
with a list of demands or deal breakers,
it is about feeding your soul with love
without caring about their big eyes
put all the temporary stuff
the demands from the outsiders
their threat of disappointment in the air
let the wind blow it all away
Keep yourself and breathe
I’m gold with a flaw or two
After speaking to my best friends after midnight (for real have those conversation late at night) I understand that awareness is cute but emotional intelligence is the key.
Checking yourself, in terms of your thoughts, reactions, moves and then correcting yourself takes a lot of self power. Self correction only happens when you are brutally honest with your own flaws. Cause flaws in my opinion are the add on but the second these flaws get toxic something has to give. If your ”flaw” is messing with your mood, mental health, your relationships or even your money you need to understand they are not flaws they are self destructive qualities. Seriously, sometimes judging yourself from an stranger’s point of view without making any excuses is drastic but needed. So ask yourself some questions. Are these flaws toxic? Do these flaws hurt me and others? Am I just being petty? Would I accept these flaws in someone else?
To become better takes commitment. I am talking about the type of commitment where self love is a fact and is not based on certain conditions.
Are you ready to commit to yourself first?