When it comes to life whatever the situation we are dealing with in our heads or out there in the world, at the end of a long day I want to breathe a little easier. For me to be able to breathe and actually feel my entire body means I am aware and I am accepting myself. Call it reflection, meditation, prayer I want to be able to breathe always a little bit easier. When stress comes back for a commitment and takes away my ability to breathe it changes everything. It’s not even about that I want to be free of anything that gives me stress because to be free of that means I want to be free of my life and my life is blessed. It’s about learning to commit to myself before believing whatever outside is telling me to believe about myself. Call it happiness. Call It peace. But if I can breathe easier no matter what the day has brought me, I am living. So I hope you are breathing a little easier as well.
Noop not a piece of poetry instead in this blog post I will be discussing how East Africa has changed many relationships in my life beginning with my relationship with FOOD.
Prior to this trip I always went for chocolate and carbs. On the other end of the spectrum I would avoid red meat because the texture and the taste never sat well with me. It did not matter how it was prepared. You could fry it, bake it, make it dance I still would say nah. All in all my diet needed to change where I was in control and not my messed up taste buds. Not going to lie it was an experience.. to say the least.
My lowest point was at this restaurant where I asked for a fish burger, the waiter came back with a tuna sandwich. A part of me wanted to speak to the waiter and sort it out but the other part of me did not have the energy so I ate that tuna sandwich.. it had mayonnaise which was the first processed thing that entered my body in three weeks.
That clean eating life style, became my actual life for four glorious months. Everything was made from scratch, I did not taste or even could find a single E-number and my body suffered. My body was making weird noises and the toilet and I.. well let’s say we had a thing going on. My body was screaming for chocolate and for some reason I did not come across any chocolate in any of the shops. I did what I had to do. I took a screenshot of chocolate bars and showed it to one of the shop owners and he said: ”Yeah, we don’t sell any of that.” See, I asked him and two other people and they all said the exact same thing. I bit my lip and went home. My body kept crying, my brain kept dreaming of chocolate and after a while I was looking forward to my unprocessed, clean, mother nature’s, basic meals. Changed occurred apart from the obvious such as losing weight and having clear skin, mentally I felt like an adult, a strong woman that did not crave chocolate no more. Weakness became my foe and powerful I became.
Visiting the market opened my eyes to how vegetables genuinely come in different shapes, sizes and colors. Those potatoes that you just bought they used to be covered in mud. One day I remember I had to make the salad (by the way the dressing was just lime juice, it is so amazing) and I found myself trying to figure out what this weird long looking vegetable was suppose to be. At first I thought it must be a courgette that did not get enough sunlight but then I was told that it is a cucumber. This cucumber was not thin or perfectly straight or even green, but it was the juiciest cucumber ever. A fruit or a vegetable does not have to look perfect for it to taste good good. Yes, that is a life lesson, you’re welcome.
Coming back from my travels I wanted to have a chocolate bar. The reason why I wanted a chocolate bar was because finally I had access. How was my first chocolate bar? Let’s just say the chocolate bar was not devoured in heavenly bliss. After I felt like my taste buds betrayed me I tried dark chocolate (70 per cent) and we got married.
The dreams I had about Nando’s, pizza, fried chicken.. (the list my friend is never ending) did not become a reality since I have come home. The urge, the need, the cravings are no more, 9/10 the main meal is enough and snacking has become a myth. However that does not mean that I will ever give up on my apple pie and vanilla ice cream.
.. and I think I am staying minimal. When I left for Mama Africa.. I went on the biggest detox ever and threw out about 75 per cent of my possessions and it felt right.
Yes, I did leave for Mama Africa and I knew that I was going to come back but I still decided to throw it all out and just start over. I was taking one suitcase, another suitcase was staying with the clothes I actually love and want to wear. Cause let me tell you something I own clothes that I have no use for or are just unflattering so keeping them made no sense. Yes I donated the clothes and took my one suitcase and left.
When I got to Djibouti I had a suitcase filled with the basics. With me I brought undergarments, a bathing suit, one abaya (which is a full length outer garment) , toiletries, shorts, 4 shirts, 2 leggings, a towel and a couple of hijabs. The idea was to be as simple as possible and to buy my everyday clothes in Djibouti. I bought baatis (long dresses with beautiful prints) and shalmats (large scarfs). At first I struggled wearing the shalmats properly and I was always a little bit jealous of the women who just wore them without any effort. During my entire trip I did not had the need to buy souvenirs, instead I went on the biggest adventure of my life.
Will I keep living this minimal lifestyle now that I am back? I like to say yes, I hope so. During those four months living out of one half empty suitcase, taught me that I don’t need a lot of stuff. I will however always need more of good people, positive vibes, laughter and sincerity. I will never be minimal about that part of my life.
Let me tell you want you want.
You want the stress to blow away
be in the place where dreams live in daylight
a place where peace is yours
and happiness is your protection
What is this time you talk about?
Why do you think that ”we have all the time in the world.”
Do you know when we are going to die?
Do you know when we began and when we will end?
Did you buy time and saved it somewhere?
Since when has time become free?
You keep telling me to slow down
because I speak fast
but time is not on my side
Time has been chipping away at my life.
I see that time has a hold on me
so I keep trying to life through it
whilst you are trying to beat
its entire identity