Keep on breathing.

when the sirens come
know that I am holding in my breath
because when the sirens come
and I exhale
I have to face change
change I didn’t ask for
change I never prayed for
but change I need to give that nod to

Apparently closure means complete acceptance
accepting of what has been lost and what it is left in your present
So do we ever find closure in grief… do we ever stop grieving?

closure is complete acceptance
to accept I may need to unclench my fists and let go of my old breath

Images that will never leave my mind

Seven years ago  as I was making my way to the station I saw this elderly man in a wheelchair and a Muslim woman (she wore the hijab) sitting outside having a laugh. This image of them sitting together and having a conversation despite how different they look warmed my heart. Deep down I wanted to take a photograph and capture the moment but instead I just smiled at them and left them in peace. That image is still ingrained in my brain.

Last year as I was driving to Hargeisa (Somali Land), a girl with the most beautiful maroon head scarf and three goats were crossing the road in front of me. Deep down I wanted to yell at the driver and make him stop the car so I could take a shot but instead I was mesmerised by what I was seeing. Even when we passed the girl and her goats I kept looking back to catch one last glimpse of that moment. Something about that image, moment felt like pure serenity.

What I am trying to say is that we all have images that we cannot seem to forget. In some ways they leave an imprint on us, make us believe that the world isn’t as tainted as we thought it was. They are all reminders that we should look around more and be grateful that we can experience these moments. Especially as an outsider. Basically I people watch. Try it… just don’t stare too hard.

 

 

May you breathe easier

When it comes to life whatever the situation we are dealing with in our heads or out there in the world, at the end of a long day I want to breathe a little easier. For me to be able to breathe and actually feel my entire body means I am aware and I am accepting myself. Call it reflection, meditation, prayer I want to be able to breathe always a little bit  easier. When stress comes back for a commitment and takes away my ability to breathe it changes everything. It’s not even about that I want to be free of anything that gives me stress because to be free of that means I want to be free of my life and my life is blessed.  It’s about learning to commit to myself before believing whatever outside is telling me to believe about myself. Call it happiness. Call It peace. But if I can breathe easier no matter what the day has brought me, I am living. So I hope you are breathing a little easier  as well.

Don’t be biting your tongue…

there is a war going on in my mouth
after years of biting my tongue I bit it off

my mouth is full of my own blood
my tongue is bleeding and I keep swallowing
swallowing their demands and my lost voice

there is a war going on in my mouth
outside they only see my thick lips
in the shape of a closed smile

They told you that the ones
who smile with their mouths closed 
have something to hide right?