Wash Day

unzip the rib cage
take out the lines of linen
one by one wash them in the pools of their eyes
wring out the shame of your family tree
throw them into the air
let the sun burn them back to new
catch them and slowly fold them back into yourself

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Fine doesn’t mean fine.

EVERYTHING IS OKAY
while my  anxiety rules every single healthy thought I used to have

LIFE IS GREAT
yes, I am firming this smile
if I stop smiling, the tears will start
last time I cried so hard my heart skipped a beat

DON’T WORRY
I keep forgetting the happy memories
is like the pain has swallowed the little bit of happiness I had left

I AM FINE 
I am still breathing even though my soul plays with death every night

My Mama’s Mama

Macooyo

lets talk while we cover our fingertips in henna
let’s talk and get some understanding

you lost a lot, you have been through a lot and still you pray
and still you bow your head in submission
let faith give you the strength to keep on moving
now you pray from your chair still, for salvation, health, protection
you pray for me, you pray for us, you pray for the souls that have left us
you pray for this entire temporary world, each word overflowing with sincerity

you are one of the reasons why I found my way back to God
you are my sabr in a world that is so temporary
you are my reminder that faith will keep the heart alive
so lets talk, make some memories and let the henna work its magic

 

They are my eyes

Perhaps it invited itself in when my soul got too tired to stand up. Now I am trying to regain my balance by living less in my head and spending more time with the living. I am trying but sometimes my humanity takes over,  I become so consumed by it that I am unable to open up my own eyes.  But my loved ones,  they see me even on the days when I am unable to look at my present or dream of a future.