January

Let your voice enter this world; 

as a protest, a war, a declaration against him that keeps telling you to close your Mother’s lips. Do not burn yourself at night and scream your truth into rooms that have no windows. Do not go on your knees and let the humans become your judge and jury. Your knees should only bend for God. Let your Mother’s voice give life to you even when it leaves them into chaos. Take your place into this world and decorate your space with whatever you please. Whatever, you, you, you please. It is a privilege to be you. It is a privilege to be alive. Now go and live. LIVE.

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Go back.

you were ugly today

your temper became stronger than your patience
your humanity for a moment gave up on faith

after life swallowed you whole and spat you out
you whispered:

”Let my faith in God be stronger than my humanity
May I care more for the next life than this small moment.
May I always turn to You before turning to a temporary soul.”

I was ugly today and I still went back to God.

My Mama’s Mama

Macooyo

lets talk while we cover our fingertips in henna
let’s talk and get some understanding

you lost a lot, you have been through a lot and still you pray
and still you bow your head in submission
let faith give you the strength to keep on moving
now you pray from your chair still, for salvation, health, protection
you pray for me, you pray for us, you pray for the souls that have left us
you pray for this entire temporary world, each word overflowing with sincerity

you are one of the reasons why I found my way back to God
you are my sabr in a world that is so temporary
you are my reminder that faith will keep the heart alive
so lets talk, make some memories and let the henna work its magic

 

This is my commitment.

I had to learn that my first commitment had to be to Allah. By committing to Him I was committing to myself at the same time. The commitment taught me to see this world through my heart and not my eyes. He is the one I cling onto when I find myself lost in temporary moments. By committing to Allah I found grace during my times of tribulations and became grateful for the blessings as well. By committing to Allah my chest became bigger and my breathing got easier. Because to commit to a soul first means to live with the constant fear of them leaving you through choice or through death and that will consume your way of living. To be attached that deeply that vigorously to a temporary being will exhaust your own soul.  I want to live and to live means I have to commit to Allah first.

my first commitment is to Allah and that is an act of self love in itself