I did not make my own grave
while trying to chain myself to the old
but instead of burying it, saying farewell
it holds my house upright
the new has opened every single door
as I walk barefoot through every room
holding the smouldering frankincense
in the hands that were moulded by the old

I pray with an open heart
greet both of my Angels
and say thanks to Him
I look at the moment
when I coughed out fragments of my soul

and I was left with the nuur

all I could hear was my laboured breath
throat wound as a reminder, lasting on
I think to myself

even in that moment I kept on breathing


Drink Tea

it whistles. you get up and leave. I fold up every memory we created add it to one cup that is sitting alone but not lonely. I pour every drop of sweat into my cup. it runs over. my black hand does not feel.  the memories flood the empty house. the cup shatters in between the weak pillars. my cheekbones. the only bones that know heaven are covered in salt. not with the imprint of-. I drink too much now my womb is ugly. maybe if I stop drinking my body will be able to hold love.


She stopped breathing through the tears

for the love of your mother
never let her labour, your birth
go to waste

her whispers of truth filled up the air
they made the air so heavy that it became impossible to breathe

the truth will set you free
the truth will kill your darlings

may the sun burn away your outer self
may it scorch your earth

may the elements come together
and invite the new

eyes that will not lower their gaze
for no man, no how, no way in hell or for heaven

How I got my soul back

as I held onto the wall I almost poured out my entire soul until he stopped me
as my conscious came to the understanding
that I had lost the woman that had birthed me
he tried to make eye contact with me
trying to tell me that I should not cry like that
that I should remain calm

as he held my arm and slowly brought me back to my new present
I did not even have the strength to get his hands off of me

as we were leaving the only thing I could feel was the cold
my lips were cold from the last kisses I gave her

it took me a long time to get my soul back from the brink of death
it took me a long time to feel anything else but the cold
for a long time I found a home within the loss and no one knew how to reach me
for a long time I only felt death while my legs kept moving aimlessly here on earth

Now I am here to tell you how I got my soul back.