by whispering to me
whilst my eyes were betraying my heart
you tried to own me from within
slowly your voice filled up my hours
this home became your house
I needed my soul back
so I put a world in between us
as you poured yourself into your words
I would sit there and let my heart overrule your thoughts
now you are living without a witness
without my presence
I hope I will leave you with the love
the love that will push your heart
away from loneliness into faith
the love that will inspire you
to share it with the other
the love that will remind you
to pray for my soul
may I leave you with the love
when it is my time
may that be my legacy
Seven years ago as I was making my way to the station I saw this elderly man in a wheelchair and a Muslim woman (she wore the hijab) sitting outside having a laugh. This image of them sitting together and having a conversation despite how different they look warmed my heart. Deep down I wanted to take a photograph and capture the moment but instead I just smiled at them and left them in peace. That image is still ingrained in my brain.
Last year as I was driving to Hargeisa (Somali Land), a girl with the most beautiful maroon head scarf and three goats were crossing the road in front of me. Deep down I wanted to yell at the driver and make him stop the car so I could take a shot but instead I was mesmerised by what I was seeing. Even when we passed the girl and her goats I kept looking back to catch one last glimpse of that moment. Something about that image, moment felt like pure serenity.
What I am trying to say is that we all have images that we cannot seem to forget. In some ways they leave an imprint on us, make us believe that the world isn’t as tainted as we thought it was. They are all reminders that we should look around more and be grateful that we can experience these moments. Especially as an outsider. Basically I people watch. Try it… just don’t stare too hard.
When it comes to life whatever the situation we are dealing with in our heads or out there in the world, at the end of a long day I want to breathe a little easier. For me to be able to breathe and actually feel my entire body means I am aware and I am accepting myself. Call it reflection, meditation, prayer I want to be able to breathe always a little big easier. When stress comes back for a commitment and takes away my ability to breathe it changes everything. It’s not even about that I want to be free of anything that gives me stress because to be free of that means I want to be free of my life and my life is blessed. It’s about learning to commit to myself before believing whatever outside is telling me to believe about myself. Call it happiness. Call It peace. But if I can breathe easier no matter what the day has brought me, I am living. So I hope you are breathing a little easier as well.
Silence and a sad smile – It’s not just me
I am done
this heart will not
eat the disappointment
and embody it
this heart will accept
move on and thrive